My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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