No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think people are normalizing furries
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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