IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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