pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
