I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
