If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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