You just made me feel so damn special
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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