I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
