i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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