I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
