I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
