A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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