He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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