this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
