I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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