just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
