im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You can't special order awesome
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
