Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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