I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
