Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
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dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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