I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
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Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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