OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
