hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize