I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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