You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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