i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
dude. I can hear the air.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
