its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
