I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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