I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
