i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize