I just saw a hot homeless man
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
