I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
