his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
