cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize