brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
