so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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