All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
