I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
