oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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