Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
