You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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