it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize