You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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