Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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