Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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