obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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