Yo dont text me then not text me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
