sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
