I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
