you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
