Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
