I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
