at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
