I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
