Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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