i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
