Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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