3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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