so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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