And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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