Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
