We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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