Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
